Never drink with a camera handy

Because somebody will always try to capture everything on video, and he will almost always succeed. Dread the hangover, but dread your shaky, drunk video even more. You are better off not remembering all the stupid, crazy things you’ll say and do when you get drunk.

Never drink with computer science majors. Especially those who study in isolated rural campuses. You can never win against them. Isolation begets loneliness, loneliness begets drunkenness, and drinking is as much a way of life for them as coding is. And while you are showering the hangover away the next morning, they will sneak into your bag, get your camera and steal a copy of any video you might have taken the previous night. You are lucky if you even find it out at all, because these geeky little liars are fast, and before you step out of the bathroom they will be back on the bed faking snores.

Never drink if you haven’t got a whole day to last the hangover out. For some people it’s not the drinking that does them in, it’s the aftermath. That’s why it’s called a “hangover”, it hangs on you. Think of all the time you’d waste cooped up in bed trying to sleep it away. Before you go on a drinking spree make sure you don’t have anything important to do for the next twenty-four to forty-eight hours.

But never hold back when you drink. You deserve that few glorious hours of being totally uninhibited. And even if you get caught on cam doing stupid and crazy things, well, no regrets. Just (drunken) love. And if one day your computer science buddies leaked (and some friends they are if they do!) your videos to the Internet, at least the world would know you knew how to have fun!

But really, never ever let them leak it. Kill them if you have to, but there’s just no way your mom’s ever going to see you, err, doing things you can’t even write about!

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